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sound advice, from someone who cares ... 
Sample Questions
Question:
My son says he hates being on the baseball team and wants to quit. He is 9 years old and this is his third year playing. Should I allow him to quit or make him finish out the season? His coach seems to be treating him okay. I haven’t noticed him berating the kids at all. My son just seems to have lost interest.
Rick
Galveston, TX
Our Answer:
Hi Rick! Good to hear from you! This is a problem many parents face. In general, it is good to have kids finish out what they start. In athletics, being a part of a team can and should be a great experience. Being a part of something bigger than oneself and learning about commitment to a team goal can be very rewarding.
As you have described your situation, it appears that your son has just lost interest in playing. There is probably a reason for this and it
would be helpful to find out what it is. Often times, kids don’t always realize why they feel the way they do, they just know how they feel. The
challenge as a parent is to be a good observer and try to figure out why your son feels the way he does. It could be something as simple as that
the fact that the practices move along slowly and he is bored. It could be that there is a bully on the team and your son doesn’t want to be
around him. Or maybe your son has developed a passion for another activity that he wants to pursue. It could be a lot of things.
My suggestion is to try and find out more about why your son says he hates baseball. Maybe attend a practice or two and just observe how things
are going. Make sure there is nothing else happening that is preventing your son from having fun with the team. If you observe nothing out of
the ordinary, then I would say it is important for your son to finish out the season. If you find there IS something else going on, changes
should be made to remedy the situation.
There are times when quitting a team is the right thing to do, but those times are rare. These instances usually involve a scenario where there is an abusive coach who is not reprimanded by any person or committee that should be overseeing his behavior. Your son’s predicament, as you have described it, does not suggest that this is the situation. Good luck and contact me again if you feel the need!
Question:
I am 34 and a single mom. I have worked in a real estate office for three years and have developed an infatuation with one of the agents whose name is Bob that works here. I have not expressed my feelings to him because he has a steady girlfriend. I would really like to tell him how I feel. Should I say something?
Cindy from California
Our Answer:
Hi Cindy! Thanks for writing! Being a single parent is a huge challenge. A big part of that challenge is making a living while simultaneously finding enough time to spend with your child or children. While love and romance are important ingredients to a happy life, when there are children involved, meeting their needs always take precedence over everything else. That doesn’t mean you have to live like a spinster or nun, but it does mean you have to use your head when it comes to dating.
You write that you have been with the real estate office for three years. You must like working there if you have stayed on for that length of time. More importantly, you and your family are dependent on that job for income. You don’t want to risk messing up your job situation over a romance turned bad. My advice is to not say anything to Bob at this point. Treat him as you always have, but keep it professional. If you were to change jobs, or Bob would, then it would be okay to tell Bob something like; “If you ever break-up with your girlfriend, I would enjoy spending some time with you.”
In the meantime, by all means, take some time to date other people outside of work. Try to find another mom who you can share babysitting duties with so that you both can find some time to get a few hours away from the kids to date or shop or do whatever. You can save each other babysitting money and also can find support in each other as you face the challenges of parenthood. Good luck and write back if you feel the need!
Question:
I can’t seem to get along with my co-worker I’ll call Sally. I’ve tried everything and basically it seems like she just doesn’t like me. We work in a small office with a total of six employees. I am 25 years old and Sally is probably about 32 or 33. I’m not sure, but she seems to have an interest in the office manager, Neal, who is married, but separated from his wife. I don’t know if they have ever dated, but Sally never misses a chance to put me down when Neal is within earshot. I’ve only been working here two months, but feel like things will only get worse and that maybe I should start looking for a new job. I like working here, but I just don’t know whether it’s worth staying.
Lori from Baltimore
Our Answer:
Hi Lori! I appreciate hearing from you. Drama in the workplace is never fun and certainly not conducive to productivity. It is obvious that Sally is insecure about herself and probably a little bit threatened by your presence. Working with someone like her can be very difficult, but there are things you can try to alleviate the situation. First of all, keep your focus on why you are at work, to get work done. By concentrating on your work and the tasks at hand, it helps take your mind off of the Sally issue. It also makes you a better employee. If your boss is smart, he will recognize that you are a hard worker. It’s good if you can get the person in charge to respect and appreciate your efforts.
You have only been there two months. It may take Sally more time to get used to you. When you feel the timing is right, try talking to Sally. It’s possible that once you have been around for awhile, she will begin to trust you. Once this happens, she may actually confide in you. Insecure people need reassurance and are usually looking for people that they can trust. If you cannot break through with Sally, keep focusing on your job and ignore any future insults. Make sure you document exactly what Sally says to you and when she says it. If it continues or worsens, talk to your boss and bring your documentation. If he or she is smart, changes will be made to make your work situation better. If your boss does nothing, it is probably time to update your resume and start looking for a better situation. Good luck and write back if you need to!